the best day ever
wednesday was the BEST. DAY. EVER.
a little back story. i elected to have the blood test that checked for chromosomal abnormalities and also revealed the sex of the baby. my brother's wife had (what i thought was) the same test and it was covered by insurance. david and i are on the same insurance as my brother and his wife because david and my brother both work for the same company. they said it was covered by insurance for them, so i assumed the test would be covered for us as well. my obgyn gave me the card for the rep of the company that processed the blood work so i could verify that insurance would cover the test. i called once and he was unavailable for a several day period and at that point i just told myself it's the same test, blood work and sex of the baby, that my sister-in-law had. it's going to be covered. and i didn't call back again.
fast forward a month. i received an explanation of benefits letter from the insurance company over labor day weekend. the blood test is NOT covered. we could expect to owe a balance of $4,100. i died inside. that is so much money. how is it possible that the same test was not covered for me when it was covered for my sister-in-law on the same insurance? i texted my brother and sister-in-law to verify exactly what test they had done, and i realized it was different. they had the blood test plus ultrasound that also revealed sex of baby. the blood test plus ultrasound version did not come with sex of baby from the company with which my obgyn worked. only the blood test alone. my heart sunk. it was not the same test. and because i didn't take the time to verify, we were going to owe $4,100.
now, we're planning to replace our furnace and ac unit this fall because they are on the fritz and it is the grace of god that they survived the summer. the furnace was leaking water into the basement earlier this summer, and when the repair guy came out he said the system was leaking coolant. we paid $400 to replace four whatevers of coolant and prayed for it to last the rest of the summer. the $4,100 we expected to pay for the blood test would cover most of the cost of a new ac and furnace. but no, i was going to be paying $4,100 for a COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY TEST. i felt so ashamed. how could i be so stupid?
thankfully david did not chime in on my self-hatred party because of this prospective bill. the explanation of benefits was not a bill, after all. it was just that, an explanation of benefits. what we could expect to owe. there was nothing we could do at that point to reverse the results. we did the test. i didn't call to verify it would be covered. i assumed incorrectly. it was done. all that was left was to wait for the bill from the company who processes the tests and then call the rep and plead my case. i prayed to god for mercy on my foolish soul. i shared the situation with two friends from austin with all the details and asked for prayer. i shared vaguely in prayer requests at church with the children's ministry team. i tried to re-frame the situation -- i am not stupid, i just did something stupid. stressing about it and wallowing in self-hatred doesn't change anything. i accepted responsibility for my inaction and the bill we expected.
and then on wednesday morning this week i went out to check the mail. usually david gets it when he comes home from work. he left in the early afternoon on tuesday for a training in chicago so he didn't bring in tuesday's mail. it was waiting for me in our box wednesday morning. and when i opened the lid to the mailbox, i caught a glimpse of the dreaded bill. i took a picture of it and sent it to david saying i was scared to open it. i brought it to the dining table, sat down, and proceeded to break open the seal with my finger. i pulled the folded bill out. unfolded it. looked at the amount due for the blood test. and my eyes widened. i grabbed the explanation of benefits letter to compare the amount to make sure i was seeing it correctly. yes, we expected a bill of $4,100. and what i saw on the bill was:
amount due: $0
WHAT THE WHAT?! how in the...?!?! but the explanation of benefits said...!! GOD HEARD MY PRAYER AND HAD MERCY ON MY FOOLISH SOUL! i couldn't believe it! BEST. DAY. EVER. i was filled with relief and gratitude. we weren't going to be paying thousands of dollars for a completely unnecessary test after all! and that money could go toward a new furnace and ac as originally planned. SO. MUCH. RELIEF.
but then the day just got better and better.
later that morning i was taking a shower and asked bina to go pick out her outfit for the day. she was goofing off playing with a mesh laundry bag, wearing it on her head. she walked out of the bathroom and back a few times, no clothes in hand. then she walked out once more and after several minutes came back with her clothes on. WHAT? now, she's gotten her pants/shorts/skirts off and on by herself before, but never the shirt. she can pull off her zip up footed pjs, but not the top with her separates pjs. that morning she was wearing a set of separates with long pants and a long sleeved shirt. she got both of them off and put on a skirt and sleeveless dress. ALL. BY. HERSELF. i was floored! i couldn't stop exclaiming with excitement how proud of her i was for her taking off her pjs, picking out her outfit, and putting it on all by herself! YAY BINA!
bina comes with me to counseling every other wednesday morning now. it wasn't working to have evening appointments every other week because david wasn't getting home from work in time for me to leave her with him. so i switched back to day time every other week. i packed a yogurt pouch, an applesauce pouch, and a bag of almonds for her to snack on. she doesn't eat applesauce or almonds, so this was just wishful thinking on my part. as we were waiting in the lobby for my counselor to come get us, bina asked for snack. she hasn't eaten applesauce or almonds in forever but to my great surprise, she ate BOTH! i'm finally going to get through this big box of applesauce pouches i got from costco months ago! ha. she has been weaned from nutrigrain bars and cliff kids bars and we're back to nuts and applesauce. i am THRILLED. it gave me reassurance that she will continue to fluctuate with what she does and does not like, and if i wait long enough it will all be okay!
THEN. that afternoon i met up with a friend who had borrowed my maternity clothes so i could pick up the last remaining item she had -- my all time favorite super soft maternity leggings. now if only it would sneak below 80 degrees consistently so i can wear them comfortably... soon enough! i was so happy to have them back, and on the BEST. DAY. EVER.
later that day a friend of mine texted the group of moms i will be traveling with to louisville, KY next week for the mother's of preschoolers (MOPS) annual conference. it runs thursday afternoon until saturday evening. there was talk of trying to leave by 4:30 or 5am thursday morning and that had me stressed out. i'm touchy around sleep. especially when pregnant. especially when my kid periodically wakes for extended periods of time throughout the night. i was anticipating bina waking from 2-4am and me not being able to go back to sleep, then having to be up for the day since 2am to attend this conference. no good. i was trying not to stress (i could sleep in the car, right??), but it's just not my nature and especially challenging when pregnant with crazy hormones. anyways. the text was about looking into the possibility of driving down wednesday night instead of thursday morning and checking into our airbnb one night early. YES. PLEASE. we looked into it and that's what we're doing. done. problem solved. BEST. DAY. EVER.
THEN. my child nursed to sleep before 8pm that night. like. sound asleep out. it was beautiful. that's been happening less and less this last week or two and i was not looking forward to wrestling her to bed by myself since david was going to be out of town. but, continuing the BEST DAY EVER... she went out quickly and painlessly.
praise jesus the lamb of god for the BEST. DAY. EVER.
i've found myself finding so much joy in bina this week as well. she has her moments, she's three after all. i'm not full of joy 24/7. but oh my goodness do i love this kid something fierce. and i just can't believe god entrusted her to me. she's so incredibly affectionate and empathetic. she's so full of life and joy. sometimes i just look at her and can't help breaking into the biggest smile.
last night she laid on her belly in the bath as it was draining. i just looked at her and couldn't believe how much space she took up! she's growing and developing so much. she's not the tiny baby she once was. it made me full of anticipation to meet the tiny babe growing inside of me now. what will her personality be like? will she look more like me or david? will she love pink as much as her big sister, or will she blaze her own trail of style? i can't wait to find out. watching sabina grow more into herself and her unique personality has given me so much joy. what a gift to be able to stay home with my girls. not every day is the best day ever, but this life is pretty darn good. even the hard days. praise jesus the lamb of god for his grace in entrusting me with these two tiny humans. every day is an adventure. that's for sure. and i look forward to many more BEST. DAYS. EVER. with them.